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Grant Harrold, renowned for his deep knowledge of royal protocol, spent years serving as King Charles III’s butler. From 2004 to 2011, he gained unique insights that he now shares in his memoir titled “The Royal Butler: My Remarkable Life in Royal Service.” This article explores some of the surprising revelations Harrold has made about royal etiquette.
Harrold points out that many people assume that meeting members of the royal family requires a bow or a curtsy. He clarifies that this is not a formal requirement. Instead, it is merely a personal choice, as stated on the monarchy’s official website. In discussions with the king, he learned that bowing or curtsying is more about respecting the title rather than the person themselves.
When meeting royalty, etiquette dictates that guests should allow them to take the lead. Harrold explains how nervousness can lead people to struggle with conversation. He reassures those meeting royals that the conversation often remains lighthearted and straightforward.
Despite the opulence of royal state banquets, Harrold reveals that the key focus for the royals is the conversation rather than the intricate table settings. The king, he says, engages with guests on both sides during different courses, creating a dynamic social environment. This practice helps ensure that everyone is engaged in conversation without overwhelming the table.
While certain royal dining rules are still in place, others have shifted over time. According to Harrold, the longstanding rule that guests should wait for the king to start eating still applies. However, the once strict requirement to walk backward out of their presence has become obsolete, simplifying the process for those leaving a royal gathering.
British broadcaster Helena Chard weighed in on the changing fashion standards for royal women. Historically, it was expected for women to wear tights for a polished look. However, since the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, this regulation has become less stringent.
Chard notes that newer trends, including Princess Kate’s embrace of power trouser suits, mark a notable departure from traditions that once dictated fashion choices for women in the royal family.
Royal fashion expert Chard also sheds light on practical measures taken to avoid wardrobe malfunctions. One example includes the use of curtain weights sewn into dresses to keep garments in place, a tactic shared by Queen Elizabeth II with Princess Kate.
The nuances of dining etiquette within the royal family extend even to how they sip drinks and carry handbags. Harrold emphasizes the importance of consistency when drinking from glasses to prevent smudging lipstick. Furthermore, mimicking the queen’s tradition, handbags are always carried on the left side.
Insights from royal expert Ian Pelham Turner reveal how specific behaviors, like the queen’s handbag positioning, served as more than just style choices. This habit communicated unspoken signals in public, illustrating the complexities of royal etiquette.
Interestingly, boys in the royal family follow a longstanding tradition of wearing shorts until around age eight. Royal commentator Amanda Matta explains that this practice has roots in class and historical fashion.
Hilary Fordwich, a royal commentator, emphasizes that vocabulary plays an essential role in maintaining royal decorum. For instance, the terms “lavatory” or “loo” replace the more informal “toilet,” while “scent” replaces “perfume,” and “pudding” is preferred over the word “dessert.”
Matta suggests that specific royal family traditions, such as the custom of weighing members before and after Christmas dinner, may need a contemporary reevaluation. Originally a practice started by King Edward VII, this custom intended to ensure family members enjoyed the holiday feasts.
Another interesting dining fact is the exclusion of shellfish from royal menus. Chard explains that this precaution is taken to prevent foodborne illnesses, which could disrupt their demanding schedules.
Former royal chef Darren McGrady offers a glimpse into the proper dining behavior expected at state banquets. Guests are instructed to delicately navigate the presented dishes, ensuring they adopt the right etiquette in enjoying their meals. The importance of presentation is clear even in casual items like grapes, which are served in organized portions for easy consumption.
Royal expert Richard Fitzwilliams notes that the evolution of physical interaction with royals shows a significant shift in their public persona. Past incidents like Australian prime minister Paul Keating’s controversial arm placement around Queen Elizabeth now seem archaic, particularly in light of more recent interactions between Michelle Obama and the queen.
The trend of embracing modernity continues with a greater acceptance of more relaxed rules within the royal family. Fitzwilliams highlights how King Charles III shows greater warmth and openness during royal engagements, which is likely to encourage a more contemporary image of royalty in the public eye.