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This article discusses sensitive topics, including suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it is crucial to reach out for help.
Billy Joel has candidly recounted a painful chapter from his past, revealing how a tumultuous affair nearly derailed his music career and led to two suicide attempts. This revelation comes in the first release of his documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, where the iconic singer opens up about his battles with mental health. Joel, who is currently facing health challenges, has shared his story in hopes of connecting with others who might be experiencing similar struggles.
Musical Beginnings and Personal Chaos
In the late 1960s, while pursuing his passion for music, the young Joel found himself in a band called Attila alongside his close friend, Jon Small. At the time, Joel moved in with Small and his wife, Elizabeth Weber, which sowed the seeds for a complicated love triangle. Over time, a deep friendship blossomed between Joel and Weber, ultimately leading Joel to reveal his profound feelings for her.
In a poignant moment captured in the documentary, Weber spoke about their evolving friendship. She described it as a gradual connection, stating, “Bill and I spent a lot of time together.” However, as the friendship deepened, it led to devastating consequences for all involved.
A Love That Shattered Relationships
Joel’s confession to Small drove a wedge between them, resulting in the dissolution of both their friendship and their band. Reflecting on the affair, Joel shared, “I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker.” The emotional turmoil from this betrayal pushed Joel into a dark spiral, affecting both his personal and professional life.
As the weight of guilt bore down on him, Joel’s life took a grim turn. He recounted, “I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed.” He spiraled to the point of contemplating suicide, thinking that living felt unbearable.
Descent into Darkness
With struggling mental health, Joel attempted to take his life by overdosing on sleeping pills provided by his sister, a medical assistant. “He was in a coma for days and days and days,” she emotionally recounted. The incident left his family and friends fearing for his life.
When Joel eventually woke from the coma, his first thoughts were hauntingly about ending his life again. This led to a second attempt, where he ingested a toxic substance, lemon Pledge, before being rushed to the hospital again by Small.
Surviving the Abyss
Through the swift action of his friend, Joel survived both attempts. He acknowledged Small’s role in his survival, saying, “Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life.” Reflecting on the emotional aftermath of his actions, Small shared, “The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually, I forgave him.”
Path to Recovery
After the second incident, Joel checked himself into an observation ward, where he confronted his inner demons. He described this period as life-changing, allowing him to begin the arduous journey to recovery. During this time, he realized he could transform his pain into a creative outlet.
“I got out of the observation ward, and I thought to myself, ‘You can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music,’” he recalled. This epiphany set Joel on a course not only toward healing but also toward a successful music career that would eventually see him become a global icon.
Finding Love Again
Years later, after the fallout of the affair, Joel and Weber found their way back to each other. They married in the early 1970s, navigating the complexities that come with reconciling a past marked by pain. The couple’s journey illustrates the resilience of love amid adversity.
Moving Forward
Billy Joel’s story serves as a powerful reminder of the human capacity for survival and change. His willingness to confront his past and share his experiences sheds light on the importance of addressing mental health issues. While the journey was fraught with challenges, Joel transformed pain into creativity, offering hope to others facing similar trials.
As Joel continues to manage his health concerns, his message resonates deeply within the music community and beyond. Through openness and vulnerability, he inspires others to seek help and find solace in creative expression. Billy Joel’s journey from tragedy to triumph exemplifies the strength of the human spirit, encouraging all to keep pushing forward, even in the darkest of times.
