Defying the Odds: A Daughter’s Battle Against Seizures on the Wrestling Mat

Defying the Odds: A Daughter’s Battle Against Seizures on the Wrestling Mat

In a moment filled with anxiety and fear, I asked my daughter, “Siena, are you hearing what I’m saying?” Her response was a vacant stare, as if she were looking through me. It was a familiar scene for us, and we braced ourselves for what was to follow.

Just seconds later, she had a seizure. As we surrounded her, ensuring her safety, emotions ran high. Parents, coaches, and teammates quickly formed a protective circle, blocking onlookers from witnessing the heartbreaking moment. The seizure lasted 36 seconds. After a brief recovery phase, she was disoriented and had no recollection of her latest victory at the North Carolina wrestling state tournament.

This situation had its roots in her early wrestling career. Two years ago, during a similar tournament, she experienced one of her first seizures. She had just achieved an upset over a ranked opponent and needed one more win to make the podium. When she regained consciousness, her only request was to continue wrestling. However, we had to say no.

Last year, with medication controlling her seizures but struggling with brain fog that hindered both her academic performance and mat achievements, she placed fifth. Her losses came at the hands of a two-time state champion and the reigning state champion at 114 pounds.

This season, things looked promising. Siena experienced improvements due to better medication and had an outstanding start, only losing to the eventual state champion. However, just as she was battling for a chance at the consolation finals, her seizures returned.

Watching her struggle, I felt tears welling up as I held my fierce daughter, robbed of yet another opportunity by circumstances beyond her control. But this resilient girl had been fighting for years.

A Journey Begins

Siena entered her first wrestling competition while in sixth grade at the Middle School State Championships. To gain as much experience as possible, she competed in both the girls’ and boys’ divisions. Despite only having trained in a class at a jiu-jitsu school, she finished second in girls and fourth in the boys’ division. In her final boys’ match, after a controversial refereeing decision cut her rest time, she managed to secure a win amidst adversity.

By seventh grade, she had joined the school wrestling team. That year, she lost only once in the end-of-year tournament finals. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted her eighth-grade season, leaving her without matches.

Choosing the Harder Path

Upon entering high school, Siena faced a tough decision. She could either stop wrestling or compete against boys—she chose the latter. Although many teams had girls, few were wrestling at the varsity level. Therefore, it came as a surprise when she won more than half of her matches as a freshman. However, the physical demands took their toll. Unlike middle school, where she had a competitive edge, she found herself outmatched physically by most opponents and had to adapt with skill, flexibility, and most importantly, her unwavering grit.

For many girls in wrestling during this time, including Siena, the sport was not an easy path. They were often talked down to, mocked, and faced a lack of recognition. Unfortunately, the culture had not advanced significantly since the 1990s, where losing to a girl carried stigma.

It pained me to see how Siena was treated. Despite her determination, I often wondered how she processed the constant adversity. For the most part, she remained stoic, eager to gain acceptance from her wrestling peers. This stoicism occasionally cracked, as it did during an early match in her sophomore season when her opponent couldn’t hide his surprise upon facing her.

“Bro, I get to wrestle the girl. Easy day,” one boy scoffed. But his friend retorted, “Dude, that ain’t no girl. That’s Siena ‘Parmesano.’ She’s no joke.” Siena pinned him, leaving no doubt about her capabilities.

Challenges and Triumphs

As the season progressed, we received the announcement that girls’ wrestling would be recognized as an official sport by her junior year—an encouraging development. However, with the new opportunity came more challenges. Just as she was set to compete at her sophomore state championships, seizures struck again, preventing her from finishing the tournament and ultimately placing her tied for seventh.

Years later, as I held my daughter during another seizure in the Greensboro Coliseum, I feared her aspirations for her senior year might be compromised. Yet, her resolve remained unshaken.

“I’m wrestling my next match, Dad,” she declared, aware of my concerns. Though older and fully understanding the stakes, she knew she had to fight her battles on her terms.

Following a seizure, Siena needed two to three days to recuperate. Although still highly skilled, she faced significant limitations during competition. She went into her next match, battling fiercely until the last seconds. Though she lost, she fought to the very end, exemplifying her unyielding spirit.

More Than Just a Sport

This narrative began as a personal tribute to my daughter, a cathartic release of emotions stemming from my frustrations as a parent. However, it evolved into a broader acknowledgment of all young women who face similar struggles—not necessarily with health but in various challenges they encounter along their path.

Historically, the world of wrestling mirrored a stark contrast. When I wrestled, there were only 112 girls competing at the high school level compared to 250,000 boys. Fast forward to today, and that number has soared to 64,000, with most of the growth occurring in recent years due to the tenacity of young women like Siena.

In my youth, the phrase “Wrestle Like a Girl” was meant as an insult. However, after recording the extraordinary progress of girls wrestling boys and earning their respect, the phrase has taken on a completely new meaning. Watching Siena emerge from a seizure with determination ignited a sense of pride within me, and I realized something profound.

Siena exemplifies strength beyond measure, and I could never replicate her tenacity. The truth is, I would have quit long ago.