Physical Address

304 North Cardinal St.
Dorchester Center, MA 02124

Flick International Serene outdoor scene at a football field with a football on the grass

Essential Lessons for Raising Responsible Sons in Today’s Society

Essential Lessons for Raising Responsible Sons in Today’s Society

In an era where discussions about masculinity are often clouded by controversy and debates, it is crucial to have open conversations about what it truly means to be a man. As societal perceptions shift, particularly in the face of what some describe as a campaign to shame traditional masculinity, it is time to revisit fundamental principles.

Recent events, such as the actions of young men at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, remind us of the significance of defending values. During demonstrations aimed at desecrating the American flag, members of Pi Kappa Phi stood as protectors. I used this opportunity to explain to my three sons that this was an example of real masculinity—standing firm in one’s beliefs, even when faced with public disapproval or potential danger.

The Importance of Principles

Throughout this discussion, I emphasized that masculine men prioritize doing what is right. They often make sacrifices for their community and country, embodying the values instilled in them by generations of their family. In a time where conventional roles are sometimes questioned, reaffirming these foundational beliefs remains essential.

Voting—A Civic Duty

Before the pandemic, discussions about politics were limited at home. However, witnessing the imposition of policies such as school closures and mask mandates changed that dynamic. I took my sons to polling stations to impress upon them that voting is a critical civic responsibility. It is essential that they understand the impact of governance on their lives and futures.

Leading with Integrity

Real leadership is not merely about giving orders. It encompasses guiding others to excel and succeed. I teach my sons that true masculinity involves supporting those around them, fostering teamwork, and inspiring perseverance and resilience.

Family as a Leadership Team

The family unit represents the ultimate team, with fathers playing a pivotal role in its leadership. Media portrayals often depict fathers in a negative light. Characters like Al Bundy and Homer Simpson can undermine the importance of fathers. Instead, I encourage my sons to learn from positive role models who exemplify strong leadership qualities.

Life Lessons from Sports

Engagement in sports serves as a valuable teaching ground for boys. Through sports, they learn the importance of resilience. Observing the experiences of their father and grandfathers, I shared that dealing with physical pain is part of being a man. Whether it’s getting tackled on the football field or facing a challenging game, the ability to stay composed in the face of adversity is vital.

Moreover, I remind my sons that setbacks, whether in sports or life, offer opportunities for learning. My husband, a devoted coach, often reinforces the idea that the best athletes possess a short memory, allowing them to move on and improve.

The Role of a Provider

Being a provider transcends merely earning money; it entails responsibility and foresight. I recall a conversation my former colleague had when he was about to become a father. When asked for advice, an experienced senior official advised him simply to “make money.” Initially perceived as a humorous remark, it resonated profoundly once I became a parent. Providing for one’s family requires not only financial support but also a commitment to their well-being.

Future Aspirations

When discussing career aspirations with my sons, I encourage them to pursue their dreams, be it as engineers, tradesmen, or in any other field. It is essential to provide them with the foresight that education and training can lead to fruitful careers where they can support their families.

Embodying the Golden Rule

Another critical aspect of masculinity is adhering to the Golden Rule—treating others with respect and kindness. Genuine courtesy extends beyond mere expressions; it manifests in actions and daily habits. Simple gestures, such as holding doors open or being considerate to others, reflect a respectful attitude that is essential in today’s society.

Recognizing the Value of Masculinity

Contrary to some narratives perpetuated in popular culture, the role of men remains significant. Influencers like podcaster Joe Rogan elucidate the importance of masculinity and the crucial position men occupy within families and communities. Their conversations resonate broadly, striking a chord with many listeners, including my sons.

Leading by Example

Perhaps the most vital lesson my sons receive is through the example set by their father. When my first son was born, I envisioned a quick return to my career. However, holding him in my arms shifted my priorities. I communicated to my husband the necessity of adjusting our financial plans to allow me to stay home with the children. His willingness to support this choice underscored the essence of familial sacrifice.

In witnessing their father prioritize family over everything else, my sons gain insight into what it means to be a man in today’s world. Understanding and fulfilling family needs embodies the true essence of masculinity, one that is foundational yet progressive.

Charting a New Path for the Future

Teaching my sons about masculinity is not about adhering to outdated norms but fostering a healthy understanding of what it means to be a responsible, compassionate man in contemporary society. As they grow, they will face multifaceted challenges, and the lessons they learn today will serve as guidance throughout their lives.