Unveiling the Timeless Bond Between Grandparents and Grandchildren

Unveiling the Timeless Bond Between Grandparents and Grandchildren

Every Friday evening, Jewish families gather to partake in a cherished tradition that has spanned millennia. This ritual centers around Shabbat dinner, a moment eagerly anticipated throughout the week.

Before enjoying the meal, families engage in various rituals. The woman of the house lights the Shabbat candles, marking the advent of this sacred time. Families sing songs welcoming the Sabbath, bless God over the wine and bread, and sing praises from Psalms to honor the revered Jewish women.

The highlight of the evening comes when parents bless their children, a moment filled with profound significance. It is during this benediction that parents feel the divine presence at the Shabbat table, creating a sacred atmosphere.

When blessing daughters, the words spoken are, “May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.” This wish speaks of strength and character, calling upon the qualities of the revered matriarchs from the Book of Genesis.

Conversely, the blessing for sons takes a different turn. The wish is, “May God make you like Ephraim and Menasseh.” For many, these names may evoke confusion, as they belong to lesser-known figures in the Torah who do not utter a word throughout the text.

One might wonder why parents opt to bless their sons with references to Ephraim and Menasseh instead of more celebrated figures like Abraham, Joseph or Moses. To understand this choice, one must delve deeper into the significance of these blessings and their implications for familial bonds.

The key lies in the story of Ephraim and Menasseh, who stand out as the only characters in Genesis with a relationship with a grandparent. Their grandfather, Jacob, later known as Israel, bestows the blessing upon them, marking a pivotal moment in their lives.

This raises the question: Why do Jewish parents share the blessing from a grandfather during such a significant moment in their weekly ritual? The answer illuminates profound insights about human connection and flourishing.

In biblical terms, the narrative highlights the special relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. When Jacob blesses Ephraim and Menasseh, the Torah refers to him as Israel, not Jacob. This designation adds weight to the blessing, as Israel embodies a sense of growth and transformation.

In Exodus, the Torah instructs followers to communicate knowledge to both their children and their grandchildren. Within this guidance lies a treasure trove of moral teachings and wisdom passed down through generations. Grandparents serve a pivotal role, not merely as figures to be revered but as mentors and educators steeped in rich narratives.

Research supports the significance of grandparenting. In nature, only a handful of species exhibit post-reproductive longevity, making grandparenthood a remarkable human trait. Why do people continue to live long after nurturing their offspring? In 1998, Professor Kristen Hawkes from the University of Utah introduced the grandmother hypothesis, explaining that active grandparents empower their descendants, allowing them to thrive and even have more offspring.

Moreover, studies suggest that active grandparent involvement positively impacts their health and well-being. Engaged grandparents tend to live longer and experience improved mental clarity and happiness compared to their less involved counterparts.

Research from the Berlin Aging Study, observing participants over three decades, revealed that grandparents who provided non-custodial care had a significantly lower risk of mortality over a 20-year span compared to those who were less engaged.

For grandchildren, the benefits of close grandparent relationships are equally remarkable. Those who enjoy a strong bond with their grandparents show better academic performance, heightened security, reduced impulsivity, and lower anxiety levels. This data illustrates the profound impact of these intergenerational relationships.

The Foundation of Strong Bonds

What contributes to a meaningful connection between grandparents and grandchildren? A 2020 study conducted at Hong Kong University found that the key lies in future consequence appreciation. This understanding encourages the younger generation to invest in their future rather than dwell on nostalgia.

A grandparent who frequently reminisces about the past might be tolerated but may not have the same impact as an enthusiastic grandparent invested in their grandchildren’s aspirations. Those who help with assignments, celebrate milestones, and impart wisdom become cherished figures in their grandchildren’s lives.

This illustrates why Israel, not Jacob, is invoked during the blessing. The focus shifts away from merely historical figures to a progressive outlook, emphasizing growth and future potential.

This perspective reveals that God understood the essential role of grandparents. When grandparenthood is approached with love and forward-thinking, it becomes a powerful gift not just for the grandparents and grandchildren, but for all generations involved.

In cultivating these connections, families create a legacy of love and knowledge, ensuring that the impact of grandparenting resonates for years to come. This enduring bond fosters a nurturing environment where wisdom is not only shared but perpetuated, reinforcing the essence of familial ties.

The journey through grandparenthood, embraced with care and perspective, remains a timeless treasure, offering invaluable lessons for every individual across all walks of life.

Mark Gerson’s upcoming book, titled “God Was Right: How Modern Social Science Proves the Torah Is True,” will delve further into these ideas, offering insights into the profound connections within families.